Hold on, Jest a moment!

We have our superheroes Superman, Spiderman and Batman, who do you have?” asked an American kid to his Indian friend.

“Well, we have Hanuman, Shaktiman and Salman !” answered the Indian kid.

Once I heard a catholic priest saying, ” There are some people,  let us hope that they are not many!  Who claim to be Christians and they  go to church only three times in their entire  lives ; When they are HATCHED, MATCHED AND DISPATCHED.” !

As the autumn came, organizers of a race course decided to award the first prize to the horse finishing last in the race.

    When the starting shot was fired, not a single horse moved.  This was repeated again, result was the same; no movement. Quite naturally owners and the jockey of the horse wanted to finish last.

    Advice of an expert was sought for conducting the race successfully with the condition, .as decided.

    He advised,” Elementary my dear, just interchange the jockeys of every horse participating in the race!”

DNA

     In the olden days, for Rajas and Maharajas, it was a normal practice to visit their subjects occasionally alone in disguise or sometimes openly with their small troop and advisers to find out whether their countrymen were happy and in peace.

      Once, a very young Raja went to a village in the country side. For some reasons, he had to stay there at night with his troop. In the evening while talking to some villagers, he was very surprised to see a young farmer. Amazingly, his face, looks and built etc. were very similar to him.

    He called him and said smilingly, ”I am glad to see you. You look exactly like me. This is probably, because my father had stayed in this village for a night, some twenty five years ago!”

    The young peasant replied with a wry smile,” Maharaj, you may be correct, but during those days, my father was a servant in your father’s palace !”

TAG

One subscriber of FB was frequently being tagged by his friends.

He did not find those very amusing. He sent messages to all 
such friends to desist from it.He said," I would rather share myself 
if I like some articles or photographs."

 Many of them asked, ”What’s wrong with it?”.

He replied, “I have a very weird feeling when I am tagged.”

He explained further. I know, in India, when a loan is granted 
to a borrower, the asset created out of the bank loan is to be
 insured. Bankers working in rural areas often finance live-stocks 
viz. cows, bullocks, buffaloes, or cattle in general to farmers.
 When insured, veterinary doctors put metal tags bearing 
numbers on the ears of such cattle for the insurance 
companies. 
Piercing ears with metal and hanging tags is painful; I suppose.

SENSEX

       In the year 2008, there was a global meltdown in the financial sector and resultantly the stock market crashed throughout the world. Indices of stock markets plunged downward.  BSE, was no exception. SENSEX lost 1408 points in a single day on 21^st January and the downward trend continued throughout the year. Baffled investors and traders lost huge sum of money and sadly some of them even lost their fortunes as Sensex came down from 22000 plus points to 8000 minus.

       During one of those days in Ranchi, one Jharkhand-Minister was addressing a press conference on some other issues. One journalist, wanted to have a dig about his concern for the stock market.

       He asked politely, ”Sir, there is a very rapid, uncontrolled and continuous downward fall in SENSEX for the past few months, investors and traders of Ranchi are also suffering because of this, what is your Government doing to arrest this falling?”

       The minister replied after some thoughts, “सेंसेक्स तो क्या, हर सेक्स पर सरकार की पूरी नज़र है. दोषियों के विरुद्ध यथासंभव कानून की तहत कड़ी से कड़ी कारवाई की जायेगी.” (Not only SENSEX, Govt. is having a close watch on all the SEXES; stern action will be taken against the culprits as per law.)

Right Choice

     Family of a friend was looking for a bride for his son. They decided to choose one from a few BA final year Arts students. They sought for an expert advice from another friend. He told them, “Look! while selecting a bride, you just keep in mind; in case of Arts students; if History of some one is good, there is a likely chance that her Geography will not be so good; and if some one’s Geography is very good, her History may be a matter of concern.”

Bong-Connection

1.  In West Bengal, when people express their political affiliation, they say,"Ami CPM kori or ami Congress kori.” The literal translation in Hindi are,” Main CPM karta hoon ya main Congress karta hoon,” which do not have any meaning.

Certain expressions in regional languages are difficult to translate in English or if translated they lose their original character. 

     Once I had a heated argument on certain matters with a very unfriendly neighbour, who happened to be a staunch supporter of CPM. When he realized that he was fighting a losing battle, he cautioned me in Bengali.

     “Don’t you know Ami CPM kori?”

I asked politely, “Sorry, I’m not getting what you want to say actually.”

      “You know very well what I mean.” he replied.

     I said, “If you say ‘ami CPM kori’, I won’t understand any thing, If you say,’ you are either a leader, volunteer or supporter of CPM or you are associated with them in some way,’ then perhaps I might understand.”

He stared at me for a few moments with a puzzled look and walked off without   any further argument and I heaved a sigh of relief.

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  2.   While traveling in a local train, I was amused to hear an agitated elderly Bengali Babu shouting at a hapless young man,” Scoundrel, Rascal. Kono kando gyan nai?” (Behave yourself  or Don't you know how to behave?) He was accidentally pushed by the young man in the rush.

     I thought; these Victorian English words were outdated. The elderly Bengali people are still very fond of using them, though there are choicest of abusive words in English, Punjabi (Delhi) and Hindi (Bihar,UP) widely used throughout India. ‘Mind it’, the words ‘Scoundrel’ and ‘Rascal’ are equally popular in Tamil Nadu also!.I love hearing those words!

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